i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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