How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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