threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize