Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize