This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize