I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my shit smells like andre
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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