she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
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