There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
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Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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