Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize