you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize