Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?

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  (845): He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right? http://tfl.nu/rwt1
  Replies (37) Good night (640) Bad night (6615) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.

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  (610): A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex. http://tfl.nu/u4lo
  Replies (29) Good night (5924) Bad night (1077) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.

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  (337): I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week. http://tfl.nu/rnvn
  Replies (27) Good night (4553) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?

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  (850): when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children? http://tfl.nu/iefn
  Replies (26) Good night (1139) Bad night (5853) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra

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  (512): I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra http://tfl.nu/ayn1
  Replies (65) Good night (6006) Bad night (982) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers

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  (803): some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers http://tfl.nu/iyv4
  Replies (17) Good night (8497) Bad night (914) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.

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  (434): Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying. http://tfl.nu/4yli
  Replies (3) Good night (2052) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.

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  (203): She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers. http://tfl.nu/qfx8
  Replies (25) Good night (4563) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?

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  (906): Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am? http://tfl.nu/ceer
  Replies (12) Good night (2596) Bad night (1114) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening

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  (630): he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening http://tfl.nu/ov5q
  Replies (2) Good night (382) Bad night (940) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones

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  (843): I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones http://tfl.nu/t1ex
  Replies (7) Good night (2001) Bad night (477) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.

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  (636): Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome. http://tfl.nu/7z1r
  Replies (4) Good night (1063) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.

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  (870): Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic. http://tfl.nu/y3t4
  Replies (9) Good night (1139) Bad night (471) Order T-Shirt
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  (+02): View more from

  I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods

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  (+02): I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods http://tfl.nu/ntv5
  Replies (1) Good night (911) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.

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  (360): Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass. http://tfl.nu/ehtn
  Replies (8) Good night (1643) Bad night (355) Order T-Shirt

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