I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Blood and glitter go together right?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize