i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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