I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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