you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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