I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize