Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize