I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize