Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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