Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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