Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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