Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!

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  (407): At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"! http://tfl.nu/ehkr
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  omg no way im finding him!

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.

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  (215): drug dealer added me on facebook, win ? (1-215): omg no way im finding him! (215): he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke. http://tfl.nu/whoh
  Replies (114) Good night (1765) Bad night (9003)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My underwear smells like fireworks.

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  (801): My underwear smells like fireworks. http://tfl.nu/cuz7
  Replies (19) Good night (4635) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.

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  (513): She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight. http://tfl.nu/4s7r
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  (631): View more from New York

  i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.

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  (631): i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet. http://tfl.nu/93ik
  Replies (94) Good night (10959) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi

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  (919): anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi http://tfl.nu/rjb1
  Replies (29) Good night (651) Bad night (4734) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game

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  (617): It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game http://tfl.nu/6jkk
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge

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  (828): then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge http://tfl.nu/hh8c
  Replies (10) Good night (4093) Bad night (1121) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.

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  (732): I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked. http://tfl.nu/sxfw
  Replies (15) Good night (5921) Bad night (1835) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  $5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer

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  (205): $5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer http://tfl.nu/vhus
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.

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  (614): lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name. http://tfl.nu/tsk6
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.

  (319): View more from Iowa

  You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.

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  (630): So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead. (319): You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you. http://tfl.nu/03d8
  Replies (15) Good night (2228) Bad night (1035)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.

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  (720): I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom. http://tfl.nu/lin9
  Replies (4) Good night (407) Bad night (1574) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.

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  (719): Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs. http://tfl.nu/ixry
  Replies (3) Good night (1409) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)

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  (443): according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :) http://tfl.nu/n706
  Replies (3) Good night (799) Bad night (184)

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