I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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