That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize