True but thats because hes a fetus.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
worst night to have a conscience
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
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