I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
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I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Blood and glitter go together right?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize