Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
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his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
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Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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