she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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