she is the kim kardashian of front butts
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize