I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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