I just saw a hot homeless man
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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