My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize