now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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