After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
and she was petting her beer can
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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