Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
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It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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