You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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