We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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