yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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