don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I am naked and annoyed.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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