There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You made out with two different species that night
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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