tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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