Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
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His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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