Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
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Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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