he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize