I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize