So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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