Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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