MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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