He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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