Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize