Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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