You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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