I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
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You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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